Willing to be Illuminated and Pierced

Posts tagged ‘understanding’

Perfection From Imperfection

Imperfection irritates most of us. I’m sure, all of us have come to a point wondering why we’re imperfect, wishing we got the qualities that others have. But I believe there is a purpose to our imperfection.

It has been said that there are dangers to being perfect. It can make us arrogant, as if don’t need God and man. I’m sure you’d expect me to say that we are made imperfect so we would depend on God. Yes, that’s true. But more than that, I believe that in our imperfection, we are also taught to love others, as well.

I learned this in our prayer group, whom I always stay with every weekends. It’s not a perfect group, each of us have qualities that the other wouldn’t like. There are times that we would be offended to one another. But together we grew, and through each other, there are some qualities in our characters that have been sharpened or filled. When one needs help, like a prayer request or advice, the other would share a piece of wisdom that may be of help. Sometimes, a constructive criticism or rebuke can awaken us from flaws that we have. A word of encouragement brightens a part of ourselves that could be wearied. It’s like that some of us have a missing puzzle piece that only that other can fill.

I have heard of church fights and church splits so many times and the reason that I could hear is due to out of offense of their leaders or other churchmates. There are no perfect churches. Each of us is a broken jar. When we cast aside our bitterness and pride, we can see the value of each other and help mending the character of each other. Though we may be right at one point and the party that offended us are wrong, rebellion is a sign of pride. Instead of reacting in bitterness, why not pray for that person’s welfare? I believe, each of us needs to be covered in prayer, and it can uphold the character of the person we pray for and molds us to love others dispite of the offense done to us.

Never question God why we are made imperfect. In everything, there is a reason that only He understands. In time, we will know how this imperfection molds us to become better in love, humility, and righteousness.

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Capturing the Broader Perception

May bayad po yung bata (Is the seat for the child paid)?” A pregnant lady asked another bus passenger rather loudly, her voice sounded quite scandalous in the fully loaded bus to Manila.

Sitting comfortably with a little boy beside her, she said “Oo (Yes).” I was ignoring them until an older lady sitting with the boy and mother began to retort.

Kaya nga nakaupo yung bata kasi binayaran (That’s why the child is sitting because his seat has been paid)” She said in a croaked voice. Now the pregnant lady was already given a seat by a younger man. She heard the old lady’s loud murmur and answered back. “Nagtatanong lang naman po (I just asked).” But the old lady kept on murmuring and even called the pregnant lady crazy.

Now, I wondered to myself, if she, a grandmother herself, had she not been into the pains of childbirth, too?

Besides, all the pregnant lady wanted was a seat, as she was already heavy with a child.

But instead of offering her a seat, she was shunned away…maybe offended at the tone of her voice or her seemingly strong presence. The woman was trying to be strong though I’m sure was feeling uneasy.

But sadly, the grandmother seemed to have lost the broader perspective.

I understand they have paid the child’s seat, and the boy deserve it in place of that payment. But should these people have had the broader perspective of understanding the pregnant lady and her condition, I guess, they would have been even more blessed.

Most people have lost the broader perspective and have only focused on themselves. We have the right to for their rights, to shun off every offense, but we don’t see the need of others.

The Bible tells us to regard others better than ourselves. The call of humility is easy to scream at, but the endowment of this trait into our system is not that easy.

We have been taught to get our rights, but our culture has not taught us to open our eyes and be sensitive to the needs of others.

Thus, we fight against each other to get our rights, like dogs eating each other for a piece of stale bread.

How should we get a broader persepective? Only when we silence our own selfishness, try to get into the shoes of others, and sacrifice even a little bit of ourselves for them.

I admit, I’m still at this battling stage. And with this society, the need to learn humility, as my fellowmen also has the same needs and rights as I do.

And as a fellow human being, I must not disregard to my fellow man their needs and rights as I do have.

But it’s a long road before everyone in this society, even me, to capture the broader perspective.

But let’s begin that journey now.

Forgiving the Forgiven

I could have completely cut my ties with him. He used to be a dear friend, but the malicious public made us rift apart. I hated him for being too inexpressive while playing along with the teasings of the multitudes. He himself thought I was playing along.

But I was already too offended.

In my resentment, I expressed myself through a text message that he was a fool, a promise-breaker, and a liar. He was surprised and saddened, asking me to forgive him.

I tried to keep my silence and ignore him forever. But deep inside, I can hear the voice of Love saying, “Forgive him…”

It was the Lord Himself. He reminded me on why I started praying for this person and with it I said, “Let’s fight for him in prayer.”

So, I braved myself to ask him to meet me at the canteen the following day, or I’ll leave in five minutes.

He did show up immediately.

For the first time we had a very serious talk. It was so different from the other conversations we had, which were not that deep and serious.

He explained his side to me, telling me that everything he promised are true and was hopeful they will happen.

But due to circumstances in our jobs, he was trying to juggle with everything he considers, his family and his friends including me.

Yes, for the first time I heard it straight from his lips. And looking at his eyes he was sincere.

He told me much more that I did not know, the deep side of him that I did not understand.

I was too proud to ignore him, without really hearing him.

Should I have not initiated to talk to him, our friendship would have been ruined and bitterness would have swallowed me up.

It is true that when you love, you must learn how to bravely confront and listen with love and humility.

In the end, I understand how precious this person is as I have been precious to him too.

I guess this is how the Lord loves him too, for He is faithful to begin answers to my prayers and how He heard me to continually fight for him.

All in all, I learned that love takes one to communicate deeply and love is not to be kept in frustration as it can be released through forgiveness.

Where Are the Real Men?

I’m being led to the belief that no gentleman ever exists in a public transportation. It’s rare to see a man giving a seat to a lady, more so to old people or pregnant women. It’s irritating to see big burly men pretending to sleep while their earphones are stuck in their ears.

Somehow, I could say that most women are more respectable than a lot of men today. I remember an incident back in 2007 when I was going home from my night shift duty in a BPO company. The bus was so full that morning because people are flocking back to their provinces for the Holy Week vacation. In my observation, 90 percent were occupied by men. Just then, a petite mother carrying a toddler came in. She stood among the standing passengers for all the seats were full. There was no one with her. She looked tired because of the heavy luggages she had. I waited, expected that one good man would offer her a seat. Good heavens, there was no one. In my sympathy, I offered her mine. All throughout that bus ride, I stood up despite being tired from an all night’s work. I gave my usual sharp look at the men around me, but they tried to avoid my eyes (or they were just stupid enough not to know these signals).

It’s a shame that we’re loosing real men these days. I have heard of similar stories from friends. I wouldn’t mind that I won’t be given a seat because I’m young and capable. What makes me angry is when they don’t give a seat to others like this poor mother. I’ve seen how on most occasions, it is the women who give their seats to elderly ladies or pregnant women. Sometimes, when a seat becomes vacant, the men near it would not offer it to the nearest lady. He instead would race for it like an impatient, little kid.

It’s a shame how it is us women who seem to act more gentlemanly than these men. I wonder if this society has lost their respect on women. Somehow, I observed that most men today thought that just because women today are capable of doing a man’s job, they won’t give the respect and rights that women deserve. Most men today have lost their sense of authority, thus losing their responsibility to protect the women in society.

This culture of urban comfort has poisoned our identity and position. By observing the pretentious sleepers, I was thinking that these kind of men are the first to back out when war arises. Where’s the sense of courage? We need to regain them back. We have to break out from our sense of complacency. With this, we have to deal with the weakened character in us.

We have to understand our roles in society and the rights and privileges of each individual. Women deserve respect and honor, while men should stand as responsible stewards of women as they are the ones in authority. By that kind of culture observed in buses and public transportation, it’s a hint that only a few men understood the value of women, more so their role as men.

The Learning Curve of Love

I don’t understand why some schools offer instant learning modules to kids as small as 3 years old. On my way to meet my discipler, I suddenly passed by an ad for a learning institution offering parents that they would can make their 3 year old kids read in just 3 months. Goodness, I would consider myself then as a late learner because I only began to read at 5. I was just scribbling doodles on my mom’s notebook, every encyclopedia books, and our walls at age 3!

I must admit, kids are fast learners today. But we can’t expect every kid go along with what we teach, right? I remember one kid in our school who was a luckluster because he was a slow reader. In our society, we consider such as that as slow learners. But we are being too cruel…just too cruel…we don’t remember that not every medal bearer after graduation excel in life.

Just as varied as our personalities, our learning abilities are also varied differently. Not every dyslexic, poor in math (as yours truly), or stuttering fellow is a – excuse for the word – dumb fellow. It’s just, we have our own level of interests and levels. Some of us learn quick in this and slow at that…we can’t rate everybody useless if he can’t go with the rest of us.

But somehow, this society is quick to label poor fellows. As an excited sanguine who loves to imagine, overeact, laugh to my heart’s content, I’m not safe from the ridicule of kids – and adults of my generation. Somehow, my happy-go-lucky nature had me in the fool’s category. That’s the reason I’m afraid to go with cholerics…or melancholic-cholerics…especially those serious geniuses roaming in the government desks in coats and barongs.

That’s the reason we try to pretend. I try to pretend not to laugh at little amusing things…but I can’t help it. We do have our own little pretentions, c’mon admit it. But that’s not going to help. Oh and yes, we don’t have to hate others who are not to our own liking (especially if his personality or his IQ is not at your level). To love is the easiest word to say, but the hardest act to do. When we watch another’s difference, that’s a major hindance. Well, reason why most kids who are called slow learners are the least loved at school and grow in bitterness.

Jesus did not look at another’s hindances. He did not even call the beggars idiots or dumb. But He confronted the hypocrites with courage and frankness. I wonder how it is to look at others with love. We call ourselves Christians but we mostly become like the Pharasees who accused the adulteress death. I wonder what did Jesus see to grant her forgiveness. All He had were the eyes of love. I wish to have the same pair of eyes. It’s not impossible. The question is if I’m willing to die to myself and deny myself to have them.
I do have a lot to learn though. We don’t have to label each other because of differences. So what if I don’t have this and you got that? It’s dosen’t matter…love is higher than any accolade or intelligence garnered from school. I guess we can learn better if we are willing to be hurt when we love. Because when we love, we die to ourselves, until we become like the One who loved us first…

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