Willing to be Illuminated and Pierced

Posts tagged ‘time’

Wandering Connection

A quick poem…while waiting for a press conference:

We are silent among them
Trying to indulge in our existence
With longing eyes we look for friendship
The empty desks force us into silence
They move around with hands full
Occupied in senseless goals to frailty
Living in oblivion they restore their ego
Not sensing we are in their region
Make me speak and pour my heart
Would I not bring this place to life
Open those ears and hear me out
Until we make a connection
And a world full of life

A Contention of Passion


Sometimes, I feel like a passionate person living in the wrong place in a limited time. I feel that this world is too small to me and yet I’m too tired to get out of it.

I wanted to be somebody else. 

I belong to a generation that longs for more. Most of us have been well-pampered by hardworking parents who wanted us to get off from the tragedy of their hardships in their timeline. The sacrifices they made are what we have been taking for granted from the time we were born. And yet we wanted so much more…

Where to start and how to? I have no idea…

And yet, we were born with this kind of passion that is ready to burst anytime. The sad part is that we don’t know how to use it, ending up in exploding miserably. When the passion within us is used in the wrong way, it causes us to choose the wrong decisions causing dire consequences. We have been given choices, but we can’t discern which is the best for us.
 
Sometimes, I’d wish God would just give me a blueprint of my destiny. If only He’d lay out a map before me with easy directions like: go left, then turn right, take the six steps then go down into the hole, take a slide through the waterfalls and there you’ll find the prize. But God has given us freewill. We make our choices. We finalize our decisions.

But I believe this search of the identity of my passion is no vague issue. It’s just, God loves to give out clues and surprises. He already had a blueprint for us. We just have to ask — and trust Him in His answers. 

If you expect a layout of His giant blueprint of one lifetime of your destiny, don’t expect it that way. What God will give you are puzzle pieces…and each one is priceless. It’s just up to us to receive it, but we have the right to choose choice B, C, D and so on. Maybe because we humans might not remember every details of the whole thing in time. Our life’s destiny might be too overwhelming. It has to be taken step by step. 

Our passion is made within us the moment we were born. Our passion is connected to our destiny and our being. Yet, the directions that we undertake is part of a refinement of our character so as to be good stewards of this passion when released. In the end, if we discover for what our passion is for, it will bloom beautifully — not exploding tragically.  
Do I know for what my passion is for? I’m on the road to discover it. I love to do a lot, and yet I don’t know where I’d fit. Where will I go next? I’d just ask. If I’ll never ask perhaps I’ll never know…and I might get lost and my passion just wasted.

The Magic of Dinner Over Movies (Second Bite)

“How are you, Rhema?” April asked as we waited for our orders in one of our favorite restaurants.

I have waited for this moment. These awesome dinners that bind us together.

This time, we were not complete, as it used to be. So many changes have occurred these past months individually, and we have missed heart-to-heart talks outside work. For most days, we’d go separately at the end of the day. I myself try to catch up my beauty rest, for I have been too exhausted by staying up late after work.

But most of the time, I felt quite lonely. My body refreshed but my soul drained. Maybe, simply I had no one to talk with after stressful encounters by the day.

But this Friday, I stayed quite long in the newsroom even after the taping. Oh, yes, just like those good ol’ days.

And all of us left the office altogether. But that’s not the end of the episode.

April, Shiela, and I soon found each other sitting in that memorable hang-out. We missed our other friends, as they had other commitments that night.

When our pastas were placed on our table, I continued talking that I was being OK at work and all those “normal” encounters in the office.

"Shiela, taping's over! The Friday mode is on!" :D

“Shiela, taping’s over! The Friday mode is on!” 😀

April prompted me to be more detailed…more on “heart issues” she said. I smiled, trying to patch up pieces from long forgotten episodes and qualms on another person who had been linked to me, and how I learned that I should not hope too much on these cases. Then April and Shiela shared their thoughts, their feelings, and their hearts.

Once again, we were being ourselves. No talk of politics and hard core issues. Just love and friendship.

And these are the things I always look forward to. To be with the people to love me as I am.

Somehow, I felt we rekindled friendship. There’s no reporter, no PA, no researcher at that time. It was just us. All that was laid down was really ourselves. I slowed down eating, so to spend more time with these two precious people, even though time was too short. Once again, I got to know them more, and they got to know me, too.

I got home too late that Friday night but I did not mind (and so did my mom :P). This night had me feeling fulfilled. I’m looking forward for another dinner and for sure that would be very soon! 😀

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