Willing to be Illuminated and Pierced

Posts tagged ‘promises’

Rebooting decisions

I’ve come to a point where I’ve been harboring regrets over the choices I’ve made. There are days when I wonder if I have been richer after taking up psychology or IT instead of Mass Communication. There are also nights when I mourn my decision to leave BPO to pursue the media industry. I could have been at odds with my former co-workers, performing as a manager like them instead of festering my wounds in my failure to become a famous reporter. The 30-year mark in my life (add it with two more years) is another milestone to look back and evaluate myself. What I’ve found was disappointing as I have failed my dreams, my ambitions and myself.

I had shifted from dream to dream as a child. I’ve wanted to become a teacher, a world-renown writer and illustrator, a TV reporter, an advertiser and then a filmmaker. That’s how I’ve ended up in Mass Communication. All I had was passion. I did not realize my college course would never define my final niche. 

I went from job to job. I was given a chance to work as a TV reporter and a segment producer in a small TV station. I attempted going up the ladder by getting into a bigger and more popular station but I did not survive its toxicity. I went back to the corporate world, still not knowing where I should be. Here’s where I’ve recognized the importance of practicality over passion. If I had forseen this twenty years ago, I might have been a richer and a more successful person by now.

But success cannot be found in money or position.

Isn’t it comforting to know that despite of all these circles I have been through, God has this promise imbeded in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I will never forget that peace that washed me like a cool river when I have made my full decision to leave the media industry. God confirmed it even more through other people. It struck me hard when I heard Kris Valloton saay in his teaching (which I will paraphrase) “It dosen’t matter whether we have failed our foremost plans because God still has plan B, C and so on…what matters is His purpose for us.”

I believe I am yet on my way for my purpose to be fulfilled as I continue jumping from crossroad after crossroad. Despite of disappointments, I keep on picking up gems of wisdom. In the end, it is not fame or position that will make me a better person. All these lessons I’ve learned in life will help me find my niche in this life, as well as guiding me to take up the right pathway to my destiny. 

Words Of Might On the Walls

I was getting ready to bed after a long day when I was captivated by an old framed picture in our house with these words…

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This gave me encouragement and a reason to be thankful for having real friends. I’m not rich with a millionaire’s bank account, but I realize I’m richer in God’s love through friends who don’t mind my status quo but who just love me for being myself. This wall decor has been with us with years and I never thought it would speak again powerfully. Here it quietly lies along the others in a small corner beside my room, where our eyes pass by them everyday but their existence is nearly taken for granted.

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I used to muse at each one of them when I was a small girl scratching the walls with various colored pens. I thought some of them was too dull to look at, so maybe I could make up a little story on one of them:

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As I was growing up, I would meditate at each of them from time to time. I believe this one has been the motto of most Christian families:

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This one is also a favorite verse during Sunday school days because it’s easy to memorize.

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As for this one, I pray the same for you.

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One little framed picture above them was a prayer for marriage. I have not mused on that yet, maybe because it’s not yet the season. 🙂

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My favorite among them is this framed poem of “Footprints In the Sand”. I’ve always wondered if real sand was used in this mixed artwork and marvelled at how Jesus can be that loving after reading the poem over and over again.

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Topping them all was this short but popular quote among Bible-believing Christians in my generation. That used to scare me as a kid because I haven’t had the grasp of what salvation was all about. I once thought that heaven was boring because I thought that we’d do nothing in eternity but play harps among the clouds.

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Lastly, the sides are furnished with these decors made if shells with a nearly fading handpainted blessing.

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Dust has already settled on them but the words they contain still carry the same power that can change lives. From time to time, I can’t help but stop and stare at one, and let me consider God’s promises in my life. I guess this is the reason they remain hanging on our wall. We just can’t take away God’s Word off our lives because it makes us alive. The time will come that these decors may deteriorate just like us, but for a season they have served the purpose of bringing back to our hearts of God’s covenant with us.

Wisdom From the Meager Things

IMG_20140803_084516_editI’ve been quite bothered lately about money. With the meager salary I receive and the enormous bills to pay and needs to buy, I tried to balance myself to survive…until the next payday.

Somehow, I regret the time I wasted my money on useless things like excessive eating when I was in my former work in a BPO company. I saved, but a little. I used this up when I was jobless for a year. I could have invested it instead in a reputable insurance company. Gone are that first ten years of saving. Now, I am getting to the next decade my career as a faithful worker.

So, now my salary’s not as prestigious as my former job. I’m not complaining. But, this is my time and age that I am learning to budget and save well. Even I am still on loan, I can monitor my savings. I am considering other ways to invest, as well.

But right now, I am at my lowest point. This affected my enjoyment to be a part of an extra job that I am doing. I love my job and also the extra writing assignments I do on extra time. But, I felt greedy to do more so I can be paid more. Having this kind of mindset disrupts the very purpose and the quality of the job I do.

Here’s one truth that pacifies me. In Philippians 4:19, Paul prayed, “And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” The moment I received my salary, I just sighed, breathing this prayer to myself. Somehow, I can discern that in my meager finances, I am taught to be fully dependent to the God who has everything.

What we see affects our thinking. When we open our eyes and see that God is at work providing our needs, we’ll be surprised we have plenty, even if they are not financial gains. This is not the first time that I received more than the less I gained. Times before, I have received worst, which in the last week before the next payday, I was short of budget. Surprisingly, I survived without borrowing from anybody (not even from my mom).

And so, this truth encourages me. My God will really provide all our needs, because He knows them, and has the compassion and grace to sustain us when we fully trust Him. With this, I cling on to Him, as He teaches me to be a good steward of wealth. In this way, I gain more wisdom in choosing where should I spend my expenses, and in budgeting the rest for the coming days. Good stewardship is the lesson here and it’s a hard one to learn.

I guess the wisdom I am gaining at such a time as this is greater than the wealth I can ever accumulate (even if I get a million bucks). I believe when I learn to be a good steward of the little things, I can take care of bigger things that will be entrusted to me at the right time.

Pressure in the Waterloo Front

I have crossed the Jordan. But I’m not yet at the Promised Land. The moment I stepped in, I’ve been met with resistance…hordes of them.

As I go on the 11th day of my fast, I discover so much more of God’s promises. However, I’d discover more how I have been keeping a lot of heart issues, and lots of character refinement is required. There is a secret spiritual battle in the air as human personalities clash with pride without understanding and discernment. There is so much hypocrisy going on bringing in the deception of too much effort equals reward without remembering that rest is part of the reward.

I felt so much lack around me. And there is a lack of time that keeps me from meditating and pondering on the expansion of this spiritual waterloo I’m in.

I’m asking for strategy. I’m claiming an increase in wisdom.

Days ago at the start of my 21-day fast, the Lord gave me Joshua 1:5-9 after asking Him for “the Word of the Season”. Three times, the Lord said, “Be strong and courageous” or in other versions, “Be strong and brave”. It’s like something that He’s echoing into me in preparation for a major conquering to do. Right now, I’m weary and I’m tempted to give up. But again, the Lord tells me, “Be strong and courageous.” With that command is a promise…rather tons of promises. There is an assurance that when I rest in His presence. I can only conquer the territories promised to me if I push through. Besides, I won’t go this war alone, for He said that He’ll never leave me nor forsake me.

Oh, Lord, uphold me. I’m about to faint.

Welcome August. Welcome shift. I need to push through. May I be carried on His wings.

My Oscar already praying on my bed. Imagine him having a quiet time first before I could!

My Oscar already praying on my bed. Imagine him having a quiet time first before I could!

Let the Bosses Evaluate

President Aquino giving his SONA while Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile (left side of the picture) and House Speaker Sonny Belmonte (on the right) listens. Photo courtesy of pcoo.gov.ph

After one and a half hour, 8,890 words, and a three-year review of the present administration, the nation listened to President Aquino’s third State of the Nation Address (SONA). For once again, we were able to look back at his accomplishments, expect new expectations, and evaluate what transpired in our nation under his government.

It was no extraordinary SONA. Most of what Pres. Aquino mentioned were a rehash of some of his past speeches from different occasions, especially the review of figures and promises hopes just like our ability to export rice and end of classroom and textbook backlogs in schools by next year. And one of them was the comparison of his administration to that of his predecessor.

I would agree that his SONA was a very comprehensive report. Thirty-three pages for that one and a half speech. I can say that most were facts, yet the promises are the ones to watch out.

Every president’s SONA is more than words. It just takes one to more than listening to it. Just like a spoken (and a written) contract, the public should be more careful to check and see if the government are still in the right track. If you would take time to ask the common people what they think about the government and his SONA, most of them would say, “We don’t want to mingle in politics.”

I must admit, it’s a hard thing to give your attention to serious things especially government stuff. In fact, knowing issues would make one even more aware on what’s happening – even causing us to think on the how’s and why’s of everything around. When I first covered Pres. Aquino’s SONA last year, I was very confused – one reason was because I was not following the daily issues and news. It was information overload and it almost blew my mind.

A year after, I was more able to watch out and know the should be’s and should not have been’s from his SONA. It’s not a hodge-podge of words. And we have to watch out his promises – especially the ones he said would happen next year.

A year after, I can’t tell was it good or bad? All I have to know if his speeches are more than words. He must remember that his bosses are on the watch.

As his bosses, the public must always watch out on his administration’s actions.  We are not called bosses for no apparent reason. If the president was flattering for calling us his bosses, then we should realize that we are originally having that privilege and position guaranteed by the Constitution:

Art. 2, Sec. 1: The Philippines is a democratic and republican State. Sovereignty resides in the people and all government authority emanates from them.

This is not only our right but our privilege. Not knowing and remaining neutral and complacent will not only leave us ignorant, but our rights and freedom slowly abused by those in power. With this right, we can voice our thoughts, take action, and cause those in authority to think, rethink, and perhaps change for our cause.

I have but a very small evaluation of his SONA. One year is too small for my observation of his three-year tenure. Another year to go…I’ll make sure I’ll make a better review of this year’s SONA. And I hope the public will view it was more than words.

For the rest who has been following his SONA since he was elected, your evaluation?

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