Willing to be Illuminated and Pierced

Posts tagged ‘Lord’

The Magic Of Dinner Over Movies (Fifth Bite): Faith and Courage For Food

It was a almost a month since I had my second meal with this wonderful woman who is an epitome of courage and strength. For me, this is one of the most unforgettable dinners I had. Her story is better than the burgers, fries, and sundae she blessed me. I guess I was more fed with encouragement with the testimony of this admirable woman of God.

I usually meet Dianne in Christian conferences like JRev (Jesus Revolution)

My good friend Dianne with tons of fries and burgers. Couldn't be any better than the dinners I've had.

My good friend Dianne with tons of fries and burgers. My past dinners couldn’t be any better than this! 🙂

Night. But I did not expect that on this last JRev night I’ve attended last February 17, she was there. I was comforted to see an old friend after thinking I would be going home alone. Like a feather in the breeze, her bright smile filled up my tired spirit. I find her like a lamplight energizing me in the night, even though the event was over.

If you think her positivity is overreacting, no. It’s something natural in her. Glad to see each other, we decided to have dinner together before going home.

I missed having large fries and burgers in the night. I know this would be a wreck in my diet, but I’d rather take this opportunity to bond with a friend. I took all the ketchup for my fries because she wanted her fries to be in her burger!

We called it a post-Valentine date which we really enjoyed. As a single lady, I’ve always enjoyed being with friends at dinner. But how much I’ve enjoyed this date as her testimony marked meaningfully in my life.

I am aware of the hardships she is facing in her life. She has been taking care of her mother, who has cancer. It’s not easy for her and her family. Not only financially, but physically and emotionally. I must admit I couldn’t bear the thought of seeing a loved-one in pain. But Dianne has to endure her mother’s screams of pain everyday. Add to that, she was juggling a lot of tasks like taking care of her little nephew.

As she shared to me her pain, she also shared to me the encouragements she has been receiving. Not only had she received kind words, but she and her family had been receiving financial and emotional support from different people. I was blessed when her church family had come together as a big group just to pray for her mother (and because of that, her pain lessened!).

But the battle she faces goes on. And she faces it everyday. She would be tired, I know, but she has this amazing strength that keeps her smiling. I was somehow ashamed, because I would be so tired at the pressure of my daily tasks. But Dianne has bigger and painful problems than mine. I could see how these refine her well: in spirit and in character.

In another rare moment, I was chewing my burger slowly. I almost gaped while listening to her story of faith and determination. I wondered how she kept on holding on to this thin wire hanging over the dark cliff. Deep in her heart, she knew that it’s not her mother’s time to go. Her faith kindled mine. I agreed with her — her mother will recover, indeed she will.

What amazed me more was how she keeps her eyes on the Lord. No blame-throwing at Him, she just clings to Him. Last hope you may say, but He’s more than that. He’s everything, a faithful Father and Friend from the first to the last. Dianne wouldn’t exchange Him for anything else. He’s the One strengthening her and sustaining her all along.

This post-Valentine date must be more remarkable than any romantic dates I never had. :)

This post-Valentine date must be more remarkable than any romantic dates I never had. 🙂

It’s an honor to have a friend a woman who stands strong in the midst of great testing. I believe that this season in her life is preparing her for something greater. At this point, I could say that she has blessed me more than I could have blessed her. Such people like her has received more than most of us have had, I guess. Despite of great pain, she receives great strength, courage, and faith. But the best of all is the great love of Jesus that had caused all the positive fruits in her life to bear. These fruits she shared to me as seeds waiting to sprout in the upcoming seasons in my life.

Truly, I was enlightened that night, sweeter than the sundae I’ve had as my finale in that dinner. Her testimony had nourished my tired body. Truly, it’s an amazing dinner with her, better than any romantic dates I’ve never had. 🙂

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Pressure in the Waterloo Front

I have crossed the Jordan. But I’m not yet at the Promised Land. The moment I stepped in, I’ve been met with resistance…hordes of them.

As I go on the 11th day of my fast, I discover so much more of God’s promises. However, I’d discover more how I have been keeping a lot of heart issues, and lots of character refinement is required. There is a secret spiritual battle in the air as human personalities clash with pride without understanding and discernment. There is so much hypocrisy going on bringing in the deception of too much effort equals reward without remembering that rest is part of the reward.

I felt so much lack around me. And there is a lack of time that keeps me from meditating and pondering on the expansion of this spiritual waterloo I’m in.

I’m asking for strategy. I’m claiming an increase in wisdom.

Days ago at the start of my 21-day fast, the Lord gave me Joshua 1:5-9 after asking Him for “the Word of the Season”. Three times, the Lord said, “Be strong and courageous” or in other versions, “Be strong and brave”. It’s like something that He’s echoing into me in preparation for a major conquering to do. Right now, I’m weary and I’m tempted to give up. But again, the Lord tells me, “Be strong and courageous.” With that command is a promise…rather tons of promises. There is an assurance that when I rest in His presence. I can only conquer the territories promised to me if I push through. Besides, I won’t go this war alone, for He said that He’ll never leave me nor forsake me.

Oh, Lord, uphold me. I’m about to faint.

Welcome August. Welcome shift. I need to push through. May I be carried on His wings.

My Oscar already praying on my bed. Imagine him having a quiet time first before I could!

My Oscar already praying on my bed. Imagine him having a quiet time first before I could!

Circus Battleground

The crowd roared as the heart-broken performer hangs on the trapeze in suspense. The lights glimmered and dimmed in rhythm as dancers drowned their fears and insecurities. The little clowns covered their depression in thick make-up by reenacting their tragedies. The powers and principalities were entertained, looking forward for another intense act of broken homes, lost lives, and dramatic deaths. Welcome to your daily freak show. The circus that clothed every blinded prisoner in glitter and color. The show that feed every demon’s lust for a broken life.

But among the lost and broken is a soul free from the leashes of whips of the heartless ringmaster.  No one touches him as he watches in their midst. But there was no other way out. It’s either he stays unnoticed or war the principalities around him.

And just like the little warrior-in-the-making, I did not know what to do…or rather…I don’t want to do what I must do.

Almost everyone around me is a unconscious victim of sin, lies, and pride. A man indifferent to porn and curses, a woman having one-night stands with different men while searching for real love, a successful and beautiful journalist with a broken family, a prominent and intelligent government official loud on his extramarital affair.

And here I am. The “quiet, innocent sheep” doing nothing but that mundane working routine.

Until the moment of empowerment came again. My workplace is not a place to make money, it is a mission field to conquer.

It is a mountain where I am called to reap the harvest. It is where the thrones of wicked kings are meant to be toppled down for the freedom of these victims.

But first of all, it is me who should be liberated…I need liberation from my comfort zone. My hibernation causes me to shut my eyes from the pain of the world around me, and yet my own make-believe world can never take me out of here.

But I have this deep passion that pains me from staying in my shell…

…and compassion in order to break them from their chains.

I’ve been decreed with authority. I’ve been given weapons. I’ve been reminded over and over the mountains that can be moved with I speak. It’s just I tried to shut up the tragedy and the deceptive “normalcy” that I hope not to touch. I loved my little, quiet world. But I am not meant to stay here forever.

Who am I to be afraid of the wicked principalities, anyway? For greater is the Lord, full of wisdom and might, who is in me than he who is in the world.

All I have to do is to open my eyes…and fight to move forward…

Quiet Hopes and Silent Prayers

This little piece of paper has been on my wall for almost two years. Seeing the names of my friends  and family members I long to be in the Lord made me guilty as I have not been praying much for them these months – or for almost a year. I could still remember how I laid my hands on their names every night with great expectation and hope they would come to the Lord. Now, as their names were gaining house dust, I am still hoping that there would be changes in their lives.

I know how a lot of us expect too much when we pray. On the onset that we don’t get answers as quickly as we want, we have the tendency to give up. It’s because we don’t see with the eyes of faith. But what we don’t know, something is happening in the spiritual realm.

The Bible has been very clear that our battle is not in the flesh but with spiritual forces (Eph. 6:12). We are usually deceived by what we see. Actually, everything that happens in the physical is just a manifestation of the spiritual world. One way is through our words – there is power in them. Even a mere joke can become real. When we cling to what we see and loose faith on what we are hoping for, chances are, we won’t get what we’re praying for.

But I believe the time will come that everything that we have been praying for a long time will be done so suddenly, we won’t believe it’s happening. When revival comes in, things will be so fast that the salvation of multitudes will be so great. The people we have been praying for will come before the Lord altogether. But it will happen if we continuously and earnestly seek the Lord. But we can only do that if we have deep, deep passion and hunger for Jesus to return and reign on this earth.

I’m one of those groaning to see revival. I remember talking to a friend yesterday how we’ve been waiting to see the hand of the Lord move in such a way that everything we know will change. I’m tired of the architype church and society we’ve been raised to. I want a realy Holy Spirit movement and awakening. I’m tired of the hypocrisy we generate saying that by good works we win souls, but it’s only by the Spirit of the Lord deliverance and salvation be done. I’m tired of the restrictions we give to the Lord’s Spirit by setting a program based on human knowledge. When the Lord comes, He has ways we don’t agree and that will surely offend many. What we’ve been praying for in days, weeks, or years will suddenly come and happen – for I believe that this year will be a year of SUDDENLY.

Can’t for the Lord to come back, shake everything until He remains. I believe we’re nearing that season. Right now, we are at its “birth pangs”. For now the Lord has one word: WAIT.

We’ll keep on waiting while praying and worshipping. Just like the apostles in the beginning of Acts, they did not move and spread out until God’s appointed time. May we be granted patience and endurance as we press on by waiting for His move. May we learn how to trust in Him fully as we continuously seek Him with all our hearts.

When the time comes, I hope I’ll never be surprised when all the names in my paper turn to the Lord. Let His perfect will be done…

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