Willing to be Illuminated and Pierced

Posts tagged ‘inheritance’

Acting Like A Queen

“Hegai liked Esther and she won his favor. He lost no time in beginning her beauty treatment of massage and special diet. He gave her the best place in the harem and assigned seven young women specially chosen from the royal palace to serve her.”

Esther 2:9

I’ve always felt a dislike towards rich or powerful people. They seem snobbish towards the poor and the disadvantaged. But what I don’t realise is sometimes their regality is a reflection of their true identity that is honorable and pure.

Esther must have been regal in every way, the reason she was chosen to be the Queen of Persia. The six-month treatment given to her seemed to have spoiled her well. But it’s not meant to spoil her. It was meant to mold her into what she was meant to be.

I have been battling with an orphan mindset for a long time. (Maybe that’s why I love to recite the line, “Alms, alms…spare me a piece of bread” with wide, teary Puss In Boots eyes when I was in high school…nah.) But really, I’m 31 but I would move around like a sorry little girl by thinking I should not become better than others. I have always thought I’d offend people when I do. And this what hinders me to my calling.

I believe I have been called to be a leader since I was a kid. I have been placed as a leader in school projects but would not fare well, I believe. Others would see a leadership potential in me that I could hardly see. But I’d always shy away…

But no matter how I run away from the call, it always follow me. There are times I’d do well as an elder, an ate, a leader. But at the back of my mind, I’d tell myself I can’t do this…it’s because I’m afraid of failing.

But Esther, an orphan, did not act like one. Instead, she stood out among others by going beyond the notch. Before she became one, she already acted as a queen and already had the heart of a queen. Besides that, she dislodges all notion that all powerful and rich leaders are aloof and distant to commoners as she saves her Jewish people from being destroyed under Haman’s plan.

Romans 8:17 says, “Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.”

So being a co-heir is like being adopted into the family of God! Because we accept Jesus into our lives, we share in His inheritance, the glory and yes, even sufferings. But I believe these sufferings are not meant to punish us but they are to refine us, knowing that Jesus Himself has carried the punishment meant for us on the cross. 

I need to act as one who is in authority, just like Jesus. I should not stalk around like a little orphaned girl asking for alms while the Father is willing to give the best for me. I need grace – extra, extra grace to get out of the wounds of the past and break off from the pride of the pity party in order to take the crown and overcome in love and boldness. May I become totally free, so as not to be hindered from what I am being called for.

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Pressure in the Waterloo Front

I have crossed the Jordan. But I’m not yet at the Promised Land. The moment I stepped in, I’ve been met with resistance…hordes of them.

As I go on the 11th day of my fast, I discover so much more of God’s promises. However, I’d discover more how I have been keeping a lot of heart issues, and lots of character refinement is required. There is a secret spiritual battle in the air as human personalities clash with pride without understanding and discernment. There is so much hypocrisy going on bringing in the deception of too much effort equals reward without remembering that rest is part of the reward.

I felt so much lack around me. And there is a lack of time that keeps me from meditating and pondering on the expansion of this spiritual waterloo I’m in.

I’m asking for strategy. I’m claiming an increase in wisdom.

Days ago at the start of my 21-day fast, the Lord gave me Joshua 1:5-9 after asking Him for “the Word of the Season”. Three times, the Lord said, “Be strong and courageous” or in other versions, “Be strong and brave”. It’s like something that He’s echoing into me in preparation for a major conquering to do. Right now, I’m weary and I’m tempted to give up. But again, the Lord tells me, “Be strong and courageous.” With that command is a promise…rather tons of promises. There is an assurance that when I rest in His presence. I can only conquer the territories promised to me if I push through. Besides, I won’t go this war alone, for He said that He’ll never leave me nor forsake me.

Oh, Lord, uphold me. I’m about to faint.

Welcome August. Welcome shift. I need to push through. May I be carried on His wings.

My Oscar already praying on my bed. Imagine him having a quiet time first before I could!

My Oscar already praying on my bed. Imagine him having a quiet time first before I could!

Reaping the Seed Sown in Sacrifice (Song reflection on “Alla Vill Till Himmelen Men Ingen Vill Dö”)

For a few weeks, I’m re-enjoying Swedish music. One is that I’ve enjoyed its language (although I’ve forgotten most of it already). Another is that I’ve discovered new songs from my fave Iranian-born Swedish artist, Laleh.

She’s not your usual pop-rock artist as she echoes depthness and reality. Unlike most modern artist who sings about relationships or materialism, some of her songs are facets of some of life’s realities, without making them mundane or morbid to the listener. Example are her songs “Invicible” and “Some Die Young”.

Her version of “Alla Vill Till Himmelen Men Ingen Vill Dö” is a breakout from its original dance upbeat version by the Swedish rapper Timbuktu. Although not her original, I love how she strummed it with her usual rock-acoustic rhytym. Of course, I wouldn’t listen to it without knowing what it means. And for once again, I’m fascinated with the reality of its verses.

Here’s the main refrain of this song:

Alla vill till himmelen men få vill ju dö
Man vill kamma in vinningen, men sår inga frön
Alla vill till himmelen men få vill ju dö
Man vill kamma in vinningen, men sår inga frön

Thanks to an electronic translator and my very limited Swedish, here’s the translation:

All wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die,
Everyone wants to rake the harvest, without sowing its seed
All wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die,
Everyone wants to rake the harvest, without sowing its seed

To my Swedish friends, I hope you can tell me if I’m right. 🙂

I once thought that the title speaks of mortality alone, in which her song “Some Die Young” followed it. When I checked the rest of the lyrics, somehow, it actually spoke of the reality of man’s selfishness. The rest of the song echoes how human beings want to grab whatever they want, without wanting to sacrifice or give up anything to achieve their goals. To think that everyone wants to be in heaven without dying sounds funny, but it is actually a sad truth that only a few realizes.

What I’ve captured here is the idea of sowing and reaping. In science, in every action there’s always an opposite and equal reaction. A soccer ball can’t go to the goal unless you start kicking it around to bring it there. Everything has kinetic energy, but can never be released unless you do it by moving it around.

Of course, what will you harvest if nothing is sowed into the field? The Bible speaks that you will reap whatever you sow. To know what to sow and for what you are sowing for, one must realize that decisions should always be carefully made. Unwise decisions can create huge disasters, especially if the motive is for selfish gain.

Just lately, huge investment and pyramid scams made the headlines. Due to offers of multiplied kickbacks without doing much (and more perks by becoming an agent), they invested huge amounts of money into those so-called corporation.

It was shocking that some of the victims were prominent people. As I discussed this with a fellow reporter, it was evident that the idea of “easy money” and mere greediness caused them huge losses. It was also appalling to see how one’s greediness can cause one to lose the sense of wisdom, making the eyes see the end result without investigation and consultation.

We want to reap the harvest, without sacrificing right. We want abundance through easy money. We want fame without the willingness for discipline and humility. We try to reach the top without knowing the right way to reach it. There are always the terms of losses in order to get to the peak…unecessary baggages are hindrances to an end goal.

And of course, I’d never deny how I was almost trapped in that mindset. To get rich, I tried to join networking groups with products I’m not really interested in. I just liked the perks it offers. Gladly, the networking groups that I was invited into required hard work and good training before reaping that reward. In fact, there’s still sacrifice into it, and idleness is not required.

As I thought about the song, I agree how man can be so selfish and idle all along. Here’s another point to the song, a sacrifice worth keeping.

Contemplating on the idea of going to heaven without dying, I look at it in a different way. There’s another kind of death that paves the way to heaven. In fact, no one can really go to heaven unless we give up ourselves to the One who died for us.

Jesus died for you and me. When He gave His life on the cross, His death and ressurection sowed eternal life to those who are willing to reap it. His blood has become a seal of righteousness and cleansing to those who are willing to give up their own selves and exchanging their selfishness to a relationship with Him. In such a sowing, I believe this one with the most wonderful offer. We can never get into covenant with the true Covenant Maker if we don’t break our covenant with the world that had infilled us with selfishness from the beginning. As the world teaches us to gain without giving into discipline, righteousness, and selflessness, Jesus teaches us to die to our old sinful nature, more so give up negative baggages that hinder us from getting the inheritance that He has set for us from the beginning. Just like the eternal life that He promised to those who accepts Him as Lord and Savior.

In my walk with the Lord, I must admit, it’s not easy to die to myself. Until now, I’m battling with my selfishness and pride. But in order to live a fulfilling life in Him, I must give up the baggages that hinder the prize Himself. Jesus is my prize. His love is worth than millions of kisses. Actually, heaven is just a perk in this. But it is Jesus Himself who’s worth it all.

So going to heaven does not only require dying physically. So does getting the abundance and the inheritance the Lord has set for us. To die for one’s self is hard, but when we do, it’s worth the freedom and the joy that comes from Him.

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