Willing to be Illuminated and Pierced

Posts tagged ‘Holy Spirit’

Filling the Gap

I was hesitant at first. Even though there’s this deep urge to pray for him, I fought against it. I was too sick to pray. Sheila already prayed for him, anyway.

But, Kuya Ar, our anchor last Tuesday, continued to complain about his headache. After the taping, the urge to pray remained in me. So, I had to pray for him and for his headache to leave.

He then asked me to pray for a relative’s baby that has been sick for a while. Not missing the chance, we both prayed for the baby. Then, surprisingly, he prayed for me (who was bothered by colds and coughs for a while).

I wondered how could I be so hesitant to pray. We’re both Christians, but I why was I too shy to pray?

I reflected as I was riding the bus home. The Lord made me realize I was too selfish. I was looking at myself. I thought I don’t have to pray because I was too tired and too sick — I thought I can’t have the strength to pray. But God moves even through the weak. You don’t have to be ultra strong to release effective prayers. It is God who will move through your prayers.

I then realized that if I hadn’t obeyed the Holy Spirit, no breakthrough would be released. No healing would have been brought forth to those who need it (including me). Had I disobeyed Him, it would have surely grieved His heart again.

But the ultimate release here is the power of love. I believe this was a test of loving others. I was so focused to myself, I tried not to bother this tired self in giving a part of me to pray for others. Praying also has the need to exert physically, especially if there’s a deep burden that needs to be released. To pray for Kuya Ar and for other people (especially those I don’t know) is a test for me to release the love of God that has been poured into me. It’s a matter of giving to others and dying to myself that demonstrate what true love is. Should one needs to be perfectly strong to love others? If so, then we can never love anyway. But God proves His love is made perfect in our weak, imperfect human nature.

Thank You, Holy Spirit, for reminding of You and Your love and power. How great is the Lord’s love and grace in this weak and imperfect me. ­čÖé

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The Test of Love In A Speeding Taxi

It started from a promotion. It was followed by a debate.

It became a night of testing to our hearts.

As the taxi sped in the streets of EDSA, my friend Heidy was challenged when the taxi driver questioned our pastor’s principles. He questioned the idea of the unity of the trinity, yet he claims he believes in the Trinity of God.

Maan and I were then giggling at the back gushing on the play we watched that night. We then fell silent when the man began to discuss his distrust with various leaders of the church from different religions because of their “faultiness”.

The man, who questioned church leaders by saying that they should be judged, gave us a series of verses from the Bible. He did got them quite accurately except for a few. I was checking my YouVersion app in my phone.

But he insisted that everyone should be “judged” and the “judgement” “inside the church” is different from the kind of judgement to “those outside the church“. It was like saying that those who are “inside” their church are the ones to be saved. He is knowledgeable that Jesus died for our sin and claimed that he gave his life to God. But I don’t see any enlightenment as he insisted on the “judgement” given differently from those “inside” their church to the “outside”, summing up that to be “inside” their church is the way to be saved.

But he kept on saying “I am the way, the truth, and the life”. Maan asked him pointblank who said these words. He knew it was Jesus, but then still pointed again on the judgement of those inside and outside.

It was a tense moment in that taxi. I felt our journey was endless as I looked at the window to see where we were. Our hearts were challenged in speaking the truth to this taxi driver.

But most of all, it was challenge to our character.

One girl questioned him after another. We explained that Jesus died for us because of His love for us. And so, if we follow Him, we must love others as He did (and still does). But his argument always go back to the point of giving “judgement”. At some points, especially on the “love” portion, he would stop, but still try to bring up the “judgement” part.

Yes, there is judgement, but only the Lord has the right to judge rightly. The taxi driver was barely looking at himself as he points out that everyone should be judged. He obviously memorized some verses in the Word, but sadly, he has no revelation from the Holy Spirit. He knew them as legally and as contextually as they are.

But let me tell you that the Word and the Spirit go together. To memorize the Bible without the truth and wisdom of the Holy Spirit is futile. The Bible is one way to commune with the Father and the Son through His Spirit, not to be used for debates.

The discussion ended when we alighted at Ortigas. Maan was shaking, I was wearied, but Heidy spoke of parting words filled with a blessing.

Then the driver, despite all the religions he “judged”, admitted that he belonged to one religion that he did not mention in his earlier “judging”.

I contemplated on this as my bus sped the dark streets of EDSA.┬áThen I realized that that moment was not only to challenge the taxi driver. It was a challenge for the three of us. I was blessed when Heidy told me later though a social website, “Praise God for His wisdom and gentle spirit…” Without it, we might have become a reason for the man to look more at the faults of his fellow man than the Lord Himself. What if I’ve shown the driver my rolling eyes through the rear mirror before alighting the car or I’ve banged the door just to show my disagreement to his “principles”. That’s not love. To react without a gentle spirit is pride.

We cannot force our enlightenment to another if we don’t love. Jesus loved unconditionally…and I’m sure He’s telling us to love this taxi driver even if we have parted ways. We three could have debated with him severely, but God is not calling us to force our principles into others. It is the Lord who will give the enlightenment. It is for us to be the light of the world by reacting righteously with unconditional love. We will always be challenged, but it is a testing on how to react with humility and love. When we do, this is a testimony of God’s love to the world and a way for His glory to be seen to those who had not known Him yet.

I was tempted to say to my friends, “This is the end of him, that taxi driver.” But, no! In such a way I was condemning him. I laid down myself to the Lord. “Oh, God, forgive me”, I whispered in the bus. I had been in the dark before. Who am I to completely condemn those in the dark?

So, how should we love? We already did our part that night, I believe. But I believe it made us see how these people need to be prayed for. Perhaps, it’s time that we get on our knees again and pray, not only for this man, but for those who have not seen the Lord Himself. Truth is, we can only do so much…but it is the Lord who will make the way if we seek His face, pray, and ask Him to intervene and touch every lives that we have encountered. ­čÖé

And indeed…I have been tested again. More tests to come. I pray, that I and my friends will just submit to the Lord at such moments. We are never perfect yet, let us love…and through this love may more see Your love to them, Lord…

Quiet Hopes and Silent Prayers

This little piece of paper has been on my wall for almost two years. Seeing the names of my friends ┬áand family members I long to be in the Lord made me guilty as I have not been praying much for them these months – or for almost a year. I could still remember how I laid my hands on their names every night with great expectation and hope they would come to the Lord. Now, as their names were gaining house dust, I am still hoping that there would be changes in their lives.

I know how a lot of us expect too much when we pray. On the onset that we don’t get answers as quickly as we want, we have the tendency to give up. It’s because we don’t see with the eyes of faith. But what we don’t know, something is happening in the spiritual realm.

The Bible has been very clear that our battle is not in the flesh but with spiritual forces (Eph. 6:12). We are usually deceived by what we see. Actually, everything that happens in the physical is just a manifestation of the spiritual world. One way is through our words – there is power in them. Even a mere joke can become real. When we cling to what we see and loose faith on what we are hoping for, chances are, we won’t get what we’re praying for.

But I believe the time will come that everything that we have been praying for a long time will be done so suddenly, we won’t believe it’s happening. When revival comes in, things will be so fast that the salvation of multitudes will be so great. The people we have been praying for will come before the Lord altogether. But it will happen if we continuously and earnestly seek the Lord. But we can only do that if we have deep, deep passion and hunger for Jesus to return and reign on this earth.

I’m one of those groaning to see revival. I remember talking to a friend yesterday how we’ve been waiting to see the hand of the Lord move in such a way that everything we know will change. I’m tired of the architype church and society we’ve been raised to. I want a realy Holy Spirit movement and awakening. I’m tired of the hypocrisy we generate saying that by good works we win souls, but it’s only by the Spirit of the Lord deliverance and salvation be done. I’m tired of the restrictions we give to the Lord’s Spirit by setting a program based on human knowledge. When the Lord comes, He has ways we don’t agree and that will surely offend many. What we’ve been praying for in days, weeks, or years will suddenly come and happen – for I believe that this year will be a year of SUDDENLY.

Can’t for the Lord to come back, shake everything until He remains. I believe we’re nearing that season. Right now, we are at its “birth pangs”. For now the Lord has one word: WAIT.

We’ll keep on waiting while praying and worshipping. Just like the apostles in the beginning of Acts, they did not move and spread out until God’s appointed time. May we be granted patience and endurance as we press on by waiting for His move. May we learn how to trust in Him fully as we continuously seek Him with all our hearts.

When the time comes, I hope I’ll never be surprised when all the names in my paper turn to the Lord. Let His perfect will be done…

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