Willing to be Illuminated and Pierced

Posts tagged ‘day’

Aging Better Than Wine

IMG_0765[1]I can’t believe it was my birthday last Sunday. Surprised, not because it is a special day, but because it is an ordinary day that it was supposed to be special.
I tried to make it as special as it could be but the day ended without something surprising. I tried to console myself by the greetings through social media. Add it up with my mom’s spaghetti and cake. But it does not mark anything at the end of the day.
I wonder if this is the sign of aging. When people tend to expect more but receive less.
When everybody around you is too busy to buy you a gift.
When we realize that there are only a few people who love you as you are.
When age is not counted but dreaded.
In my 29 years of existence, I never felt so deprived. The child in me rebels. But the adult in me tries to justify.
One by one, I realize I am just being stripped off from the unnecessary fringes in life. The noise of parties, the prominent people who pretend to be close, the pride of life, all these vanish through season.
I then see who are left by my side, which are only a few.
But the greatest, though not the most accepted fact, is having the Lord.
He’s the firm foundation. Take everything away, but in Him I have it all.
No need to ask for a flower, a cake, or an expensive gift.
Maybe what I should ask as a gift is for me to become a completely strong person, filled with His love and Spirit.
Thus, I shall age better than wine.

Balancing Night and Day

I fixed my eyes in the darkness, as I laid down in the stillness of this humid night. I’ve been sleeping for four hours only to wake up to the hour that I have to sleep again.

I’m a sleepyhead these days. No matter how I tried to maintain an active lifestyle, I only ended up in dreamland. These past few days, I demanded much: give me my work and life balance or I’ll walk out after eight hours on duty…or much more, give me my eight hour beauty sleep everyday.

But that was never done.

And yet, I long for this sleep. But with this sleep, it shortened my time to savor the weekends. In just two days, my holidays are all over. I also felt my body slowing down. Still, this sleep became my comforter. It kept me away from a destructive world. It made me forget the stressful facet of life. It gave me a surreal world of who I long to be.

But when I opened my eyes, I only starred at darkness. I missed reading a lot of books. I missed bonding with my mom or with friends. I missed the very moment to reflect at my life — the reality where I exist. I missed doing a lot of activity that would help me grow in spirit and truth.

That’s why, it’s important to keep a balanced time each day. Eight hours for work, eight hours for recreation, and eight hours of sleep. To focus much of your day to one side will cause an imbalance in your body, much like a boat being capsized by a huge storm. I’m trying though, to be honest. It just takes one to learn time-consciousness. When I balanced one day, it gave me fulfillment…and a good rest, enough to keep me going for the next day. 🙂

Here I am, starring at the darkness. I’m thinking of what to do next. Oh well, I guess I’d better be up to find something worthwhile to do in this remaining night.

The Bloom (After 2 Decades and 7 Years)

I’d always set the whole February as mine. My birthday celebration never ends on the 2nd only. I always claim it as my whole month..so I call it my birthmonth celebration, not a birthday celebration.

So wuzzup with a 27-year old like me? I’m so surprised to have lots and lots of cakes (and because of that I feel loved *mwah mwah*). I intended not to put my birthdate on FB so as to test who knows my day (and until now people greet me). But what I’m expecting is what my Abba will give me for this new season. For sure this is another time to bloom…and it’s up to me to go with it.

I really don’t feel as my age. Age is only a number that people tend to be scared of. But it’s not something to be scared of. Age is a landmark of God’s gift called life. I’ve come to this age and this is a blessing to me.

There are a few things though that I need to let go:

– excessive happy-go-luckiness

– the panic baby

– my nervousness when meeting with big personalities

– pride of the worm

And I have so much to ask for in place of these

– focus

– confidence

– boldness

– acceleration in skills and character

I wonder what the Lord’s in store for me for this season. I’m sure He got a lot of them stored up in His huge storage box in His throne room. All He just wants me to do is ask…and be willing to give up the unnecessary things in my life to fill me once more and more and more. 🙂

Happy birthmonth to me again :))

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