Willing to be Illuminated and Pierced

Posts tagged ‘birthday’

Aging Better Than Wine

IMG_0765[1]I can’t believe it was my birthday last Sunday. Surprised, not because it is a special day, but because it is an ordinary day that it was supposed to be special.
I tried to make it as special as it could be but the day ended without something surprising. I tried to console myself by the greetings through social media. Add it up with my mom’s spaghetti and cake. But it does not mark anything at the end of the day.
I wonder if this is the sign of aging. When people tend to expect more but receive less.
When everybody around you is too busy to buy you a gift.
When we realize that there are only a few people who love you as you are.
When age is not counted but dreaded.
In my 29 years of existence, I never felt so deprived. The child in me rebels. But the adult in me tries to justify.
One by one, I realize I am just being stripped off from the unnecessary fringes in life. The noise of parties, the prominent people who pretend to be close, the pride of life, all these vanish through season.
I then see who are left by my side, which are only a few.
But the greatest, though not the most accepted fact, is having the Lord.
He’s the firm foundation. Take everything away, but in Him I have it all.
No need to ask for a flower, a cake, or an expensive gift.
Maybe what I should ask as a gift is for me to become a completely strong person, filled with His love and Spirit.
Thus, I shall age better than wine.
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A New Season After the Rebirth

82 or 28? Age doesn't matter. As long as you're loved and you love, that's more than enough :)

82 or 28? Age doesn’t matter. As long as you’re loved and you love, that’s more than enough 🙂

I’m now 28…and excited for the new season in my life.

A lot of people would tell me that I’ve arrived in the marrying age. In this era of instant attraction and microwave relationships, to find someone like me is alien. But I wouldn’t mind. I don’t want to go with the world’s standards. I want to claim my inheritance only found in my Father’s heart.

And my birthday is unlike any other…I spent it alone with my beloved Bridegroom God.

Days ahead, I was very excited. I sensed that this is a new season for me (not minding my age). I kept on nudging God to surprise me. And He did. But it was not as expected.

First, He surprised me with greetings, a day before my actual birth date. Receiving heartfelt greetings is more than receiving a thousand gifts to me (especially when I received text messages and calls from friends on my very birthday). Let me tell you, to be loved is more than gaining the whole earth. That’s why I was even more excited by then.

Next, the Lord brought me to a sanctuary I’ve never been. Unlike in the other prayer mountains I usually go up with friends, I ventured out to this new place — alone. Now, that’s an adventure. I believe it was a prophetic gesture…it’s like declaring that I’m ready to go to this new season that I’ve never been before.

Save for the caretaker (who became my instant friend), I had the whole Prayer House to myself. Now, this is a treat. I can scream and sing at the top of my lungs to the Lord with Habakkuk, my guitar. But that was not the case. I guess for about 63 percent of my stay, I slept.

Ok, so this is a sleeping date, Lord. I wondered why.

Then, I received my ultimate surprise.

I asked for a Word. Scanning in Exodus to look for Moses prayer to asking the Lord to show him His glory, I was led to Exodus 33:13, “If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you…”

Cool prayer! I thought to myself. I did pray it, and just as the Lord had answered Moses in verse 14, I believe He gave me the same answer.

“My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

The rest of the words in the page became blurred. This one was the shout out in this season. As I reviewed the prayers and the prophecies given to me at the beginning of 2013, the main word was “REST”.

And from the pain, the toil, the struggles I had in the latter part of 2012, the birth pains have ended. I am now in a season of resting in His presence. The conception has been done. I am reborn.

From learning from Romans 5:3-5 (and praying it), I’m now given Exodus 33;13-14 as the word for this season. I believe the Lord wants to teach me to completely abide in Him. To rest also means to abide and to trust in His presence which will stay with me as I walk into a room, or as I stay in my beat, or go to a violent rally, or at the toils of my job. It’s a promise at the same time, and such is the loving promise He gave me that I have to be willing to have my heart and character refined in this time of rest.

I believe this resting period is a preparation to greater things He is preparing for me. I believe this is a short season before I step out of the boat and walk on water.

Such is my surprise. Now, call me alien. The things I’ve received is not as tangible as this physical world but these are more than enough for me. Should I be scared in the coming days? I should never be. The coming days are unsure but I’d rather face it with anticipation for I have received a promise that is more than silver and gold. I’m also very glad to know how much I am loved. To have love from others and to give away love is more fulfilling than gaining fame and power.

Surprise me more, Lord. 🙂

The Bloom (After 2 Decades and 7 Years)

I’d always set the whole February as mine. My birthday celebration never ends on the 2nd only. I always claim it as my whole month..so I call it my birthmonth celebration, not a birthday celebration.

So wuzzup with a 27-year old like me? I’m so surprised to have lots and lots of cakes (and because of that I feel loved *mwah mwah*). I intended not to put my birthdate on FB so as to test who knows my day (and until now people greet me). But what I’m expecting is what my Abba will give me for this new season. For sure this is another time to bloom…and it’s up to me to go with it.

I really don’t feel as my age. Age is only a number that people tend to be scared of. But it’s not something to be scared of. Age is a landmark of God’s gift called life. I’ve come to this age and this is a blessing to me.

There are a few things though that I need to let go:

– excessive happy-go-luckiness

– the panic baby

– my nervousness when meeting with big personalities

– pride of the worm

And I have so much to ask for in place of these

– focus

– confidence

– boldness

– acceleration in skills and character

I wonder what the Lord’s in store for me for this season. I’m sure He got a lot of them stored up in His huge storage box in His throne room. All He just wants me to do is ask…and be willing to give up the unnecessary things in my life to fill me once more and more and more. 🙂

Happy birthmonth to me again :))

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