Willing to be Illuminated and Pierced

Freedom Off the Walls

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Let it go, let it go…

My life is a bit like my struggle with skating. The fun and breathless freedom every skater catches when he glides through the ice can never come if I remained on the wall. I did not realize this until I got into the skating rink. Imagine how my excitement was washed away when I began to struggle against the ice.

Insecurity and fear pushed away my excitement when I came into the rink. Insecurity because I was not good in balancing. Fear because I was scared to fall down and crack a bone. In the first thirty minutes, I looked like an old, frail, ninety-year old granny without a cane. I felt lonesome as my friends were drifting (even while struggling) into the middle of the rink. It’s miserable, as if I was imprisoned on the walls.

I tried to request for an instructor. I waited for a few minutes hoping it would be my turn. But I decided to go on my own.

Let it go, let it go…

And there I was again, struggling like a little toddler on the glass wall. I tried to fend off the embarrassment of falling on my knees. With a little nudge and encouragement from my friends, I had to let go of those walls.

One of my good friends, Lans, who helped me glide along the ice :)

One of my good friends, Lans, who helped me glide along the ice 🙂

Blag! I tried to cower in embarrassment but my friends just laughed it off and helped me up. I had to fall to realize that I can’t stand and even learn on my own. It wouldn’t be fun skating without a friend.

First fall...ouch!

First fall…ouch!

And so, little by little. I was able to glide a bit on my own. Soon, I was skating in the middle of the rink! Yey! I could never have felt that freedom if I had not let go of the walls I had dearly held on.

Let it go, let it go
I am one with the earth and sky

Literally, I was singing that while gliding through the middle. The fear I had felt at first was like when I was swimming through the middle of the pool. That short moment in the ice gave a glimpse that I had been holding a lot of baggages in life…

My pride…to keep me from embarrassment when I make a mistake

My false humility…so I would not be criticized

My insecurity…so I would not be called a fool by the greater authority

The past…to bask in the old glories

 

Shoes of courage

Shoes of courage

Like those cold, lifeless glass walls, I had to let them go. I don’t have to waste my life clinging to them or I will spend the rest of my life being boring and pointless.

Would you wait for me again, little skating rink? I hope I would be able to skate a bigger rink, not here, but maybe where Queen Elsa lives.. 🙂


Let it go, let it go
I am one with the earth and sky…!

Like a little baby

Fun all the way…!

 

 

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