Willing to be Illuminated and Pierced

Awaiting A Life Mission

It’s been late of when I started to pray for my lifetime prayer partner. Like a blossoming teenager, I’m excited to fall in love, have a man to care for, and someone to share my life with. I wondered how it would be (and how I’d look like).

But there are days that I can’t help think if I’m really meant to have a lifetime partner. I contend with what I see to what I’m asking in faith.

When I shared my frustration to a friend months ago, he only said, “Ask God first what’s your assignment…”

What am I really meant to do? I was even more awakened when my mom —the woman who’s been praying for me to have a lifetime partner — told me, “Seek for His will first. Set aside your desire.”

No pressure. Just wait. Enjoy the coming thirties.

Then, I realized that to get married is to be a good steward of a Godly family.

I don’t desire to have children, yet. Actually, I can’t buy the idea of having my own family. Besides, having children means to have the assignment of becoming a good parent — the assignment of passing down a legacy. It would be a time of getting ready to pass by this world, by raising a new generation carrying your calling, wisdom, and anointing.

Many people are telling me to get married before thirty. Seven months to go.

But sometimes, the real mission comes after thirty.

I am in the cocoon stage. I am not quite definite with my assignment on earth. It’s like running after the wind and using your discernment as a compass in the nothingness. Remembering a word given to me that I am a late bloomer, I could see how true it is.

I’ve been given hints. I got short term plans. I have ambitions. But none of them are concrete yet.

Perhaps, my real assignment will come at the age every twenteener feared. And outcomes will not go as expected.

I know that God got a plan that I’d be surprised. If I just follow Him, it would be better than any adventure or any love story in the world. 🙂

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