Willing to be Illuminated and Pierced

“How do you know you’re in love?” I asked an officemate while walking home.

“Well,” he said, “it has different takes on different people. Some may feel happy when you simply see or talk to the person you like…it varies…”

I only smiled. To be in love must be a crucial thing.

I’m happy for my friends who get into relationships. But there are times I’m tempted to be jealous. I used to hate to see lovers walking hand in hand in malls because they looked so corny. But now, I hated it because I’d secretly wish I’m like them, too.

For those who do not know, I never had a boyfriend since birth.

I’ve had crushes, of course. But the feeling of infatuation can be confused with love. I get attracted, but to handle one’s heart is another thing.

A lot of boys (and even men) would express how pretty I am, but are not really that serious. Because nobody had ever expressed (yet!) how serious one can be, I’d sometimes wonder what’s wrong with me.

Such is the longing to be loved. Perhaps, it would be heavenly to know that someone is excited to see me at the end of the day and share how he feels for me and holds my heart gently at the same time.

Deep inside of me, I swear that I will love this person with all my heart and take care of his heart, too.

Let me be a woman that he will honor, the flesh of his flesh and the bone of his bones.

May he become my strong right hand, my knight in shining armor who would not turn back when the dragon’s fire strike.

His desire be only be for me and my love be only be his.

I wonder…just wonder…how will this love change me as it would change him, too.

I’m so excited, but when I find I’m not yet at this stage, I feel desperate. Perhaps, just perhaps, he has not found me yet.

And I might not have heard of him yet.

Perhaps, he’s praying the same prayer as I do. And we’re just on the way to the intersection.

Perhaps, our hearts have not been unveiled before one another.

As my friend puts it, “You will never expect when to fall in love.” It’s amazing when lovers cherish their love, but what’s more amazing is how they cherish each other.

These people waited (though they are younger than me), prayed, and sought for God’s heart and their beloved’s heart.

They did not go for the sake of passion but pursued at God’s go signal.

They can balance their life’s aspect while handling a relationship. They know which one is worth and not. They may be different from their boyfriends or girlfriends and yet accept each other no matter how different they are.

This I saw it from my friends, and perhaps their season has come for me to see how the Lord blesses such relationships borne in purity and true love.

And He is writing my greatest romance testimony. I just can’t wait to see how it will go. 🙂

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