Willing to be Illuminated and Pierced

Filling the Gap

I was hesitant at first. Even though there’s this deep urge to pray for him, I fought against it. I was too sick to pray. Sheila already prayed for him, anyway.

But, Kuya Ar, our anchor last Tuesday, continued to complain about his headache. After the taping, the urge to pray remained in me. So, I had to pray for him and for his headache to leave.

He then asked me to pray for a relative’s baby that has been sick for a while. Not missing the chance, we both prayed for the baby. Then, surprisingly, he prayed for me (who was bothered by colds and coughs for a while).

I wondered how could I be so hesitant to pray. We’re both Christians, but I why was I too shy to pray?

I reflected as I was riding the bus home. The Lord made me realize I was too selfish. I was looking at myself. I thought I don’t have to pray because I was too tired and too sick — I thought I can’t have the strength to pray. But God moves even through the weak. You don’t have to be ultra strong to release effective prayers. It is God who will move through your prayers.

I then realized that if I hadn’t obeyed the Holy Spirit, no breakthrough would be released. No healing would have been brought forth to those who need it (including me). Had I disobeyed Him, it would have surely grieved His heart again.

But the ultimate release here is the power of love. I believe this was a test of loving others. I was so focused to myself, I tried not to bother this tired self in giving a part of me to pray for others. Praying also has the need to exert physically, especially if there’s a deep burden that needs to be released. To pray for Kuya Ar and for other people (especially those I don’t know) is a test for me to release the love of God that has been poured into me. It’s a matter of giving to others and dying to myself that demonstrate what true love is. Should one needs to be perfectly strong to love others? If so, then we can never love anyway. But God proves His love is made perfect in our weak, imperfect human nature.

Thank You, Holy Spirit, for reminding of You and Your love and power. How great is the Lord’s love and grace in this weak and imperfect me. ūüôā

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