Willing to be Illuminated and Pierced

Archive for October, 2011

Gaining the Prize

I was quickly saddened on the religiousness that our church was holding on to. That’s one thing that keeps the church dry and one’s fire out even though it is jam-packed with a lot of awesome ministry works.

I heard our leader speak of gaining “first class” crowns upon the expansion of church networks in the world. Well, that’s good. But it’s more than building churches and doing works. It’s bringing souls closer to our Father’s heart. But by the sound of it, it sounded to me as if there’s no love for these souls at all and we’re after crowns. Are we not made to dwell with our beloved Father and not for crowns only?

A breakthrough is what some of us long for. A lot of us, though, glory in the works of our hands, making God look like a tough employer depending on sales. But God is not a god of earthly investments. He is a proprietor of love and eternal wealth. It’s so sad how people tend to rejoice in the number of saved souls without loving them at all. (Mark 12:31) We work as if we’re in a BPO company, striving to go beyond the given quota. Yet, God did not give any quota at all. Instead, He gave us grace, and all we have to do is to obey and love Him with all our hearts. (Mark 12:30) Isn’t God the God of love? When our Father loves, shouldn’t we also love at all?

We shouldn’t look at our own crown and glory. Indeed, we have a crown for every seed we sow but Jesus Himself is our greatest prize. He is more than enough. We are not made for crowns but we are made for the Greatest Prize Himself. He is our “first class” prize, after all. The moment we surrendered our lives and accepted His love and grace, we have received the greatest prize in eternity. May we keep our eyes on Him until the end of the race.

*PS…I’ll give a complete report on the Empowered 21 Asia Congress on the coming days. Just stay tuned 🙂

Reawakening the Dream

One week to go…it will be my first time for the Empowered 21 Congress…upon preparation for the outpour on that week, a dream has been reawakened. And I thought I had lost it forever.

For once again, the Lord reminded me of raising up houses of prayers. I can still remember how He revealed to me two years ago (if my memory serves me right) that He wants to raise up HOPs. I had limited it to be only in my first company that I was in then, so I struggled to build it up. But in my pride, it fell apart. Soon, growing tired in my job, I gave it up and gave up that dream. I was so disappointed that I thought He gave it all up especially on me – since I was not that successful. But for once again, He was rearranging the puzzle before me eyes. This time, it’s not all about me but it’s by His Spirit.

A friend raised up the idea of raising up young people for intercession days ago and I liked being a part of it. But there was confusion on our schedules (since media work is sometimes an impulsive mistress) and so we have to pray about it. Just today, in our weekly prayer meeting, with another friend, we have received word that in order for the church to be prepared for revival, we have to raise young people for HOPs.

Coincidence? No such thing. I believe this is the season. God is just waiting for anybody to respond and take the challenge. I must admit it’s scary…raising up kids to pray and leading them as a discipler…then you have people around you who are not like-minded as you…then strategies and plans that may leave us proud…then attacks and all those factors that can be shot at you in mid-air. But the Lord assured that not by might, nor by power, but by His Spirit.

He is really teaching us to fully trust in Him.

I really believe it is time. I once thought that dream of raising up HOPs were lost forever. But for the Lord, when a dream has not been fulfilled at one time, will be done in another season. It’s like what Mordecai told Esther that deliverance to the endangered Jews may come in another place if not then and there at Susa. I cried, asking the Lord not for me to compromise to pride and self-recognition. Let me become nameless and faceless as He calls me as a forerunner of forerunners. It’s not only me who’s calling, but He’s raising up more of us. We just need His strength and courage…and His utmost grace.

Revival will not come if no one will cry out for the Lord to come. A generation passes by. Therefore, another generation must continue our dream to see the Lord come and reign in this nation. I’ve dreamed to see HOPs raised up not only in my town, not only in my nation, but in the whole world. The fire nights we experience at JRev will be more intense in these HOPs as the young people raised for these places will cry out and rend their hearts out to the Bridegroom to come, come, come and walk in our midst.

It’s not just the HOPs that I dream of. I dream for His glory to pour out and cover the earth like the waters cover the sea. I dream for all men to bow down and cover their faces as His full glory is being reveled before all races. I dream for all hearts to come and surrender before Jesus. I dream for all governments to give up their own crowns and titles to the only King of kings. I dream of justice fully fulfilled as the Judge of nations come and straighten out all things in order. And I dream for His church to fully become spotless and blameless completely – and therefore He shall come and take her away.

A dream will remain a dream if we hold on to our own fears. As I lay it down, let the Lord fulfill this dream that comes from His heart. I realized it is not my dream but it is His actually. Ah yes, we are just vessels of His dream. He has put it in our hearts for us to know and be one with Him in fulfilling it. Indeed, we are just partakers of what is in His heart, but like children who realized their father’s dream, we are excited to see our Papa’s dream be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Breaking My Palace Walls

It’s natural to be afraid of many things. Until now in my 26 years of existence, I’m still battling with a number of fears that try to coincide with my self-confidence.

It’s hard to fight fears. For most of the time, I love laying on my perfumed couch in my little ivory palace of complacency. Outside my palace walls is a whole new world of wonder that I’ve never seen. But there are no doors or windows. The only way to break out is to break the walls. But I’d hesitate because I have to ruin that expensive, beautiful facade.

Many think I’m not afraid of anything because I smile a lot. But deep inside, I cry when you tell me about being bold enough yielding my rights.

I need to yield my right to be offended.

I need to yield my right for worldly applause.

I need to yield my right to please everybody.

I need to give up being so selfish for complacency.

I wanted to cry at times because I can’t give up those rights. I want to, but I’m scared. I’m so afraid of hearing criticisms or taunts. I’m not made for man, but I’m afraid of man.

Lord, bring me out of this.

I hate this cycle. For once again, the Lord is revealing some bumps in me in this new season. I’m not a perfect lady, anyway. But I hate it when I see myself not really that perfect. In order to be refined, I have to give up what I’ve been embracing for so long.

While I break those ivory walls, my heart goes down with brokenness. But I have to. It’s now or never. If I don’t do this, I’ll suffocate. Break me out of my fears or I’ll die!

Hence, I’m yet to see the whole new world outside…

Fresh Start

Good morning, Papa God…

Oh how I love that sweet scent of heaven’s breath You’re bringing in. No matter how crowded the bus I was in, I felt the fresh wind of Your breath pouring into me. You know what? My heart is bursting with joy. I don’t understand why, but I felt like I wanted to scream inside that bus and breathe more of that fresh breath of Yours straight from Your garden. If only everybody there can feel what I feel. They won’t have to complain for having a bad start. 😉

What a lovely morning! You are indeed beautiful, Papa. Can I have just one more hug? Yep, just one more hug and don’t let me go, ok? 🙂



Spoiling the Left Overs

I love food. I’m the type of person who would have a hard time to resist good food, especially when you’re talking the cheesy and creamy ones. But on the moment I was diagnosed with chronic eczema, I have to stay away from them.
Although I’m getting better, until now, I have to stay away from them. The more painful thing is, the Lord is teaching me something during these days.
Fasting is the one thing I’ve been convicted of. But everytime I try, I break it. I can’t stay away from cheesy, chicken pastas or creamy choco desserts. I want to fast but I always break it. Now, I have to go the hard way. I was given a reason to stay away from my weaknesses.
It’s really true that when you give in to the seemingly good things of this world, consequences will follow. As a Filipino expression goes, “Lahat ng bawal, masarap” (Everything forbidden is tasty…hope I get my translation right :P). But eating too much of these tasty foods can bring negative results…aside from gaining weight.
But haing a skin disease is painful (for both body and pocket). But it’s not only fasting that the Lord is teaching me, He’s also teaching me how to live a positive mindset, and a how to discipline myself from anything tempting and sumptuous.
It’s not because He’s torturing me. It’s because He cares for me.
Many things in this world is so deceiving that even the nicest meal can be poison into our natural digestive system. They can bring satisfaction, but may fail to give us health. It’s a hard lesson, but I have to learn from it.
And so, I’m still in the learning process. But in the end, I have to get used to the result of this lesson. :))

Growing in an Extreme Generation

Nope…this is not an actual gang war. This was during a Pilipinas Natin meet last Saturday, where young people and some Gawad Kalinga volunteers were gathered in UST grounds. Since the theme was mostly youth oriented, much of the performances were of hype.

Kids…I wonder how they had the energy to bang their heads in that awful weather. My shoes (and my mood) turned almost at its worst when I crossed the muddy grounds, but had to do it for the sake of following an event. But these kids, they danced the weather away. They did not mind the mud that stuck between their toes, no one dared to cover their heads or their shoulders from the cold raindrops, or not one had thought of quitting the show. Their energy was way up to the clouds.

That’s how hyper young people can be these days. My mom would wonder how come they would be that energetic. Some theorized it is because of the atomized baby milk or strangely formulated vitamins that our parents bought to make us the next little einsteins that they can show off on stage. Others thought that it’s the evolution of DNA…perhaps the answer to the long-questioned “missing link”. Maybe these kids are the missing link – except that they don’t look like missing monkeys.

All right, I’m not really serious on that part.

This generation is made this way.. But let me tell you that this generation is different…and it’s not because of vitamins or any silly theory.The DNA of this generation is exclusively intense compared to your dad’s or my mom’s forty year ago. We are an intensely exited generation, we go to extremes, just like the volume of our iPods. We want to explore the strange and we are quick in analyzing. Before, our dads, when they were young, rely on manuals. But boys today, don’t need them. I, for instance, set the manual aside and learn by trial and error – without ruining the gadget. We automatically guess things right.

This is not to brag, but this is a sign that we’re in the season of acceleration.

The Lord is bringing out a generation that is bold and extreme. Such generation is the one that He will use to excitedly shout His Name to the ends of the earth, the one that will shamelessly stand on His Word, and the one that will boldly stand in the midst of persecution. Such boldness and energy will be used to spread His salvation, for such is willing to go through the unknown and reach the unreached.

But the enemy is ready to crush them down.

The same energy I saw during the Pilipinas event is almost the same as those in the JRev nights I go to. The youth, when they exert their energy on something, they will give their all. The enemy can use their energy to stray them into wordly things, and young people tend to waste their lives into such that may destroy them in the end. No, I’m not saying the secular bands are evil, but people, when fully focused on to things other than the Lord, can make us forget the love of our Maker. Man, such is the seeming sweet things of this world. But sweeter is the glory of the Lord.

What if, these kids, that I saw dancing in the rain, are filled with the fire of the Lord? I can bet they will rock the earth more than they did last Saturday. Power from the glory of the Lord is raw and way beyond you can handle. But, when filled into vessels of energy, it is manifested with intensity. Thus, the world will shake and tremble, especially when these vessels cry altogether the Name of the Lord all over the earth.

That time will come. But I wonder how old I would be then? I pray, I would be able to see that, and not mind my earthly age that might already be waning away.


Tag Cloud